So, the kids and I barely made it to church yesterday. And I'll be honest, I had already had 2 cups of coffee and was working on number 3, just hoping not to nod off and start snoring. Especially since I had no one there to smack me and save me from drooling on my shoes in front of a room full of alert people anticipating a great word from God. Not that I didn't want the whole word from God thing. I was just tired. Really really tired.
Anyway, so I was sitting in my cozy seat, kids all checked in to their own services, and I'm watching the screen anxiously hoping not to see my son's ID come up, thinking about my grocery list, and what we were going to throw together for lunch. And dinner. And if I could figure out not to have to drag my kids to HEB on a Sunday, which is like a flipping death wish. Then my pastor starts talking about our prayer life. Ding! All of a sudden, I was doing what I should have been doing all along, tuning in. Listening. Not just with my head. But with my heart. My spirit.
You see, this has been a long standing struggle of mine. Not exactly what you want to advertise as a person who was raised in a strong Christian home, with a lifetime of church attendence and Christ-like influences. But it's true. I mean, I pray through the day and pray before meals and bed time, and on the way to school. It's not like I DON'T pray. But I'm not intentional in it. Does that make sense? I seldom drop to my knees or even drop my phone long enough to not only lift up my prayer requests, but to really, honestly, praise my maker. The ultimate artist doesn't get a genuine enough piece of my time. Judge away. I know. Not something I'm proud of, but in this place, where I have promised myself to be raw and real, I'm essentially going to shout it from the proverbial rooftop. My prayer life is lame. L.A.M.E.
But my pastor said something that really made me listen. He started talking about the Lord's Prayer. I've had it drilled into me all of my life. Sunday school lesson after Sunday school lesson. Memorized? Check. Fall back prayer? Check. But Pastor Joe said it isn't a form prayer, like the whole "God is great, God is good, let us thank Him for our food. Amen" shebang. WHHAAAATTT???? Come again. Yep. He said it. Gasp. He even continued on in this crazy vein by saying, it's just an outline for how we should pray. And you know what? He is so right! You never hear Jesus praying this prayer. He simply said, when you pray, pray like this. Not pray these words. Not repeat after me. But pray like this. In this manner. Use this as an idea. A catalyst of sorts.
Maybe this doesn't hit anyone else the way it hit me. Which is fine. I'm not exactly on the top of the good Christian girl food chain. But I had to share it. Because it's so relevant. My prayer time needs to be for real. Not just randomly through the day, but time set apart to chat with my Saviour. The Potter to my clay. In which I can really connect with Him. To step into His presence....to experience a bit on heaven on earth.
How are my children going to learn to be one with God if they only see me giving Him what I have left over? They aren't. So here's to change. Here's to a step in the right direction. The direction of Christ and His ultimate plan for my life. And my families' life. Here's to the times I'll fall flat on my face, mess up, run away and hide. Because sometimes I suck at life. Sometimes I'm a total coward. And sometimes I'm lazy. But I'm also not a quitter. Or at least not for long. So if you are here, join me. Join me in making the first step towards an intentional prayer life. And if you're not in this place, then feel free add us to your prayer list, because I promise that we will need it. A lot.